RaInDrOps on my heart

                                      "After the Rain"- Aaron Jeoffrey

                             {This was the only video I could find of this song...just listen to the words!!)

I cover my heart/ turn from the wind/ button my coat/ here comes the storm again/ what can I do but trust in Him
'Cause I know the deeper my faith runs/ the stronger I become/ and the thunder it may shake me/ but I always know that

After the rain/ you can look to the sky again/ the clouds will give way/ to the light of the sun/ after the rain/ you know that you've made it through/ and you'll finally see the joy from the pain/ after the rain

Everyone needs/ everyone hurts/ everyone feels/ the weight of the world sometimes/ but don't let the wind sweep your heart away
'Cause even the roughtest waters cleanse/ so when they come again/ let them serve as a reminder/ you can always know that

After the rain/ you can look to the sky again/ the clouds will give way/ to the light of the sun/ after the rain/ you know that you've made it through/ and you'll finally see the joy from the pain/ after the rain

Can't you see the hand of Jesus/ reaching out for you/ you never have to face the storm alone
{chorus}


Nostalgia. always takes you back to another time and place, sometimes a feeling, even a smell can trigger the most vivid memories we lock deep down inside.

Wow! I cannot believe that song came to my mind the other night! It has been too long since I heard it. Such memories that flooded my mind as I began to listen to the words all over again. I listened to this song during a very painful and confusing time in my life. I wasn't who I wanted to be...wasn't where I thought I would be...I let people down...I lost my first love...I had been crushed by betrayal of relationships and slandered...people just walking away from me...my heart was in a million pieces and I had no way of knowing how to put them back together again.

So many things happen in our lives are unbearable and explainable; hard to chew and swallow. Well, life won't stop or slow down for us to figure out all these things. It (life) must keep going and so must we. Somehow we have to find the strength and perserverance to make it through. For some, it's in another relationship, a hobby, getting lost in a drink or a high. For others, it may be finding a way out...any way. I myself after this period tried to find a way out...sitting on a railroad waiting for the train to come. Lowest point of my life. And sadly, many don't even know what that pain led me to...attempted suicide. My life has been filled with confusion, with loss, with pure pain. But God's AMAZING grace held my quivering hand and pulled me up time and time again. I was clinging but I was still there.JESUS saved me and He is the only one who can put broken things back together...not like the things we fix with glue or tape...things that will eventually break again. He mends it and remakes it as NEW. WE have a new life!  (Col. 3) Not that I will ever forget what happened to me but I will remember and be thankful that God was able to heal something I thought was unmendable and that would eventually kill me. 
 He is showing me the beauty that surrounds me everyday....and it is BEAUTYful. My Jesus, my life, my husband, my beautiful and sweet baby, being a wife, a mommy, being surrounded by new friends, a new job...making lifetime memories.
LEAVE it...There's a reason your past is the past!
ACCEPT it...You are in a new season in life
EMBRACE it...Be thankful where God has you and all He has graciously given
EXPECT it...There is a purpose for your life if you are willing to truly surrender your heart and life to Him
ENJOY it...You only have one life. make it count. there is a lost world out there waiting to receive the life that you have.


This is just another firefly to stick in the jar.

I love you..I love my Jesus. I love my family. Hold on just a little bit longer. It will be alright.

Love,

tiiara

ReCkLeSs LoVe!!!

This post is taken from a study I am currently doing through my SWING group while at seminary. We are studying Ephesians, and this particular chapter (5) is about submission. I have truly been blessed to learn and grow in this area of love. thanks to Kristi Hart. I have reworded most in my own words. Enjoy.

1. God is a God of order, not chaos (I Corinthians 14:33)
2. Wives are to submit to their "OWN" husband
3. Likewise, husbands are to love their "OWN" wives as Christ loved the church
    - He died for us!
    -Sacrificial love
4. We must be subject to each other in the fear of the Lord

We must first learn to submit to God before we can begin to try to submit to our husbands. This takes intentional time of prayer and Bible study. This is the constant, clear communication that is needed to make any relationship grow and thrive. It is only done through PRAYER!
Likewise, with our husbands, we need constant conversation and growth. We get this through mutual trust and a growing love for our husbands.

Submission is NOT slavery. It is a relational posture. It is 'coming under' your husband in order to lift him up in everything he does and help him become the man he is supposed to be.

Feminisim has thwarted our idea of submission into thinking we are to 'buck' the system of control. This has nothing to do with control. It has everything to do with honor and respect and the fact that you agreed to let God place this man into your life as not only a leader in your home but a spiritual leader. How important is that role? Not only must he provide and protect, he must also guide us spiritually and be a godly example before us. Wow. That is a huge responsibility. Let's give him a break.  We can only submit through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Without Christ we are all prone to selfish independence.

We are to have an 'affectionate' love towards the men in our life. For him and him ONLY! Ladies, especially do little things in public for your guy. They will truly love this. :) An area I am not so comfortable in but am willing to give it a try!

We as women also have a dark and fleshly desire to manipulate men. (Gen. 3;16) and look at the Proverbs too!
:how we act towards them ( flirtatious behavior, emotional attachments)
:how we appear
:how we dress or what we wear (to seek their attention or elicit a reaction)
                                                W R O N G ! ! !
Shame on us! Then we blame them for being pigs! Men have to be men just as we have to be who God created us to be. We need to help them just as much as they have to help themselves. So if you have been seeking the attentions of men, other than your husband or significant other, I suggest you ask forgiveness and seek to honor YOURS and God. We don't need anyone else to validate who we are (we are made in His image)- let's reflect that not just on the outside, especially on the inside.

With that said, we come to the word 'hesed' which is a Hebrew word for love. This word is much deeper than we can explain or try to translate. Some would translate it as "lovingkindness," or "faithfulness," or "devotion."

Actually, it is an "absolutely selfless love."
                                                                    - it is driven not by force or duty or legal obligation but by a deep commitment-

                                                  "it is a selfless love that motivates a person to do volunarily what no one has a right to expect or ask of them. They have the freedom to act or walk away without the slightest injury to their reputation.Yet they willingly pour themselves out for the good of someone else." THIS IS MOST EXPRESSED IN JESUS.

 this is why we must study the scriptures. to become more like Him.

THIS IS THE GOSPEL LIVED OUT! - this is how our love as husband and wife should look. Sacrificial, serving, selfless, and without condition or demands.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwK73QbNPKo

Now this is the part where I must publicly announce my sincerest apologies to my dearest friend and my faithful and loyal partner, Levi. You are an amazing husband and more so an amazing man of God who is faithfully devoted to the Lord and daily studying His word. I, however, have not been the faithful partner you have needed. I have not loved you the way I should have; affectionately. In fact, many times I have pushed you away from selfishness or meaness. I am sorry. Forgive me. I am learning how to be that wife you need and how to be the support and encouragement you have to have in order to be who you need to be. I hope I can change this around from this day on and really give you my trust and my heart. You are the best thing that has happened in my life so far (besides Jesus of course :p) and though we have had an incredibley rough journey here, I know we will give God all the glory through our lives! I couldn't have asked for a better soulmate. I couldn't have dreamed for anything more.  I love you!!! Thanks for all your love. Especially for seeing the worst in me and loving me anyway. :)
Tiiara

Beauty Has a Name

Beauty has a name
She has a face
No one can hide her
From taking her place
In this world she'll grow
Up to be mighty and strong
She'll learn how to fly
And soar in the unknown
She holds a quiet peace
A joy from deep within
She is a crowned jewel
A delight to her King
He knows and loves her
He delights in this creature He sees
She doesnt have it all
And doesnt ask for much
She gives what she can and knows 
That what she has is enough
She is sweet and strong
Oh how she inspires me
This beauty walks with grace
And her name is Didi

This is for Diana. A precious young lady I am able to know. It is so inspiring to see how a girl at her age is so strong and has such integrity to face life's challenges and keep going. Her faith is amazing and she is my friend. To all those who find it hard to fit in...you always fit perfectly in the palm of His hands!

Bless the Lord

~a song I made up after a great study time with God. Hopefully, I can use parts of it one day and actually put it to music. Enjoy!


From the rising of the sun
To the going down of the same
Your mercy is new each morning
Every single day
So I will lift my hands up
And I will sing praise to You
Until I see You face to face
I will bless Your name

I will bless the Lord
Bless the Lord
Bless the Lord
O, my sould
My sould will bless You Lord

From the rising of the sun
To the going down of the same
I am weak today
But I know Your grace will save
Me from myself
I cling to you and nothing else
Thank You for Your love
And I pray it will be enough

Why do You love me
The way that You do
Who am I that I should have
As good of a friend as You

You are greater
You are stronger
You are mightier than a million others
You are holy
You are worthy
You are the Great I am
You are the El Shadai
The Sacrificial Lamb


You died for me
You set me free
To took hell and the grave
Now You live
Victoriously
And I will bless Your name

some of our family portrait!

The New Look: Righteousness

While everyone is out searching for this season's latest trend or hottest item, I am on a different shopping mission: I'm searching for a different and new type of wardrobe. That of faithfulness, holiness, righteousness, purity, truth, love, joy, peace, patience, self-control, loving-kindness, gentleness, and long-suffering. When I step out, I want everyone to notice what and who I am wearing: Jesus. Is it hard? Yeah. Just think whenever you are trying to find that pair of jeans, or those pair of shoes you saw in that one magazine (well, maybe a similar pair because you can't afford designer shoes), or that coat that would match perfectly with those winter boots. It can take a long time to find just the right pair or exactly what you are looking for. You have to try things on...maybe even take some items back. Well, the same goes for transformation. It is a process. You won't get it right away, and you won't have it when you leave this world. Living here in Dallas, I've seen so many sides of the American dream. Those who desperately want to get out of the ghetto but can't, those who don't even have a ghetto to call home but a bench or a bridge, those who work hard to acheive that corporate status, and those who have money to burn and the need to be seen. People are appearance-obssessed it seems. And I almost fell into that trap myself. To have the coolest car, the prettiest house, the vacation spot, name-brand designer clothes, and making all the fashionable appearances seem to shape and mold the world we live in, even in the Christian community. It's sad no one can tell us apart from the world anymore. We are takers instead of givers. We want what we can't have and refuse to be satisfied with what we do. We can buy all the fancy clothes, pile on all the ridiculous makeup, make ourselves look like something we aren't, color our hair, get tattoos and piercings, mold and sculpt our bodies all to be noticed by others. Man, I thought we were to live in the world, not act like it. We are 'new creations' so why do we still act like Jesus died for nothing? I wish I would want to be noticed for an entirely different reason: to glorify God. Not just with my body, but with my time, my money, my life, my family;everything.  Let's not try to pretend anymore. We (I) need to stop being fake and become real and transparent because that is the only way I will be able to be transformed. I need to stop lying to myself and realize I have a long way to go but if I simply go to God humbly and with all sincerity, I KNOW He will change me and work in me to become all those things I desire to be. Not for my own benefit but to be obedient to my Heavenly Father. I don't want to judge others. I don't want to waste my time with their actions against me or what they do in spite of claiming to be a Christian. I want to focus on those who want and need a Savior. Those who are struggling, hurting, and lost. Lord help me be pure in heart, sober in mind to refuse all these worldly lusts and temptations in order to become a light in the midst of a dark and scary world. Let me be raw and genuine before You, carrying no deceit or shame. No, I won't be rockin' the Dior or the Dolce & Gabbana's but I will be rockin' something so much better: I'll be rockin' JC. Then I don't think I'll be able to look any better!


Read: Ephesians 4:17-24; Zecheriah 8;!6,17; Philippians 4:8; 2 Corinthians 5:17-19

A Little Devotional

THE GOSPEL OF Mark (4)

    So, here I am, chamomile tea in hand (well, sitting on the table because I OBVIOUSLY can't be holding a coffee mug and typing at the same time unless I had a third arm or something...or unless it was in LEVI'S hand while he was letting me sip its hot goodness. lol) Anyways, do you know how you can read something hundreds of times and still get something different each time? Well, that's how the Word of God is. It is the same, but our revelations are continually waiting for us to see! Here are just some observations I made while reading this chapter. I was just too excited to keep these treasured nuggets to myself, so ENJOY if you can! (Hey, it's the Word...I hope you can. lol)

Vs. 1-20
Overview:
Jesus and His disciples just encountered a terrible storm at sea that almost sent them into the depths of the ocean had it not been for the remarkable power of Jesus to stop the wind and waves, "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey Him?" They went to the other side of the sea to Geransenes where a demoniac lived and roamed among the tombs. This man was pure crazy. I can't misuse that word again. Anyone who LIVES in TOMBS, can break free from CHAINS and SHACKLES, screamed all the time, and cut himself....boy, that is insane! Please, I'll bury my deceased loved ones somewhere else ... we will creamate! anyways He encounters JESUS which will change His entire life and I'm pretty sure lives of many other people. Let's take a closer look:
(vs. 7-9) "...and shouting with a loud vice, he said 'What business do we have with each other Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore You by God, [do not torment me!]'"
Okay, wow. There is a lot in just this verse. First, a demon KNOWS who Jesus is (the Son of the Most High God). How come we still don't know who He is? Secondly, He was afraid. Even the demons tremble at the name of Jesus. Why? HE is HOLY! He is God. Third, He implored Him by God not to torment Him. I wonder what His idea of torment would have been? Jesus revealing truth to Him...being made to serve Jesus...I dunno but his fear is something to be grasped. I wonder how it will be for those who die and are not saved or those who vehemently denied Jesus as their Lord and Savior. How scared will they be on that day when Jesus asks them if He ever knew them? WOW. How heart-wrenching and heartbreaking is this revelation. All the more reason to share the Gospel.
     So, He cast out the "legion" of demons inside this man and they were sent into a herd of swine who rushed into the sea. The people, not interested in this man who was delivered inasmuch as their swine that just ran of the cliff. Wow. I know we worry about our lives but Jesus said we had to "lose our lives" if we want to save it...Profit over People. How interesting...still runs true today. WE aren't worried about them. We are worried about ourselves. Selfish fools we are!
     Then, this man wants to travel with Jesus and His disciples. I would too. THey are pretty cool and oh, the miracles they will get to see! But Jesus says instead,
"Go home to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you and HOW He had MERCY on you." (19) And the man went away and told everyone what the Lord did for Him. I'm pretty sure many were saved! Hallelujah. Notice, we all have different functions, different roles...we all can't be in the front. We all can't try to do the same thing...nothing will get accomplished. GO! Just go. That's all we have to do. I personally have a lot to do in that area.
     Moving on to later in the chapter, it is the story of the woman with the issue of blood. This woman had been stricken with this disease for 12 long years. What a nightmare. Nothing worked. Noone could help her. None but Jesus. She knew that if ONLY she touched His garment, she would be healed. Now try to picture this, Jesus is rushing through a crowded street trying to save a young girl's life and He is sandwiched from people on every side and His disciples trying to get Him through the crowd. Fists, bows, and every body part is probably touching Him...but what did He say, "Who touched ME?" It's no wonder the disciples were a little confused. This woman hadn't even touched His body, just His robe! She didn't just touch that robe...she touched His soul. Not only did He feel that tug, He felt her- He was moved by the power of her faith. WOW! Only He truly knows the innermost parts of our being. She was healed. What hope we have in Jesus! Not that He will grant us healing from sickness or bless us with material possessions, or make life easy...He knows us. Kinda scary though, right? Wrong. If He knows us this well, it should be so easy for us to be transparent before Him. He can do anything and even if He doesn't, isn't the love enough for us to be propelled into love for Him and others? revelation. Truth is convicting. It breaks me. I'm thankful for this. Now I have some work to attend to. I hope you do too.

Tiiara

Dallas Love

Moving to Dallas more or less scared the heck out of me. Period.
 New state, new places, new church, new life...new...friends???? In GA, making friends was a difficult and painful task for me. I was severely depressed and distraught about the fact that I had no one to talk to, hang out with, or even be a 'girlfriend' with. How was I going to deal with going through that all over again?? In my darkest moments, there I stood alone. All by myself to deal with all the storms that were destined to drown me. Even after my daugher Azariah was born, I still felt the need to seek friendship elsewhere. I was so desperate and heartbroken. All the relationships I had were gone. No one talked to me anymore...they had lives; they simply moved on to bigger and better things. I was no longer worthy of their time or energy. I'm not trying to sound so depressing but this is how it was. My heart was broken...my soul was yearning, and my spirit was crushed. I didn't see any way out.
Coming to Dallas has been not only a physical but a spiritual battle. We have been faced with so many hardships and challenges since we have been here, one would come to conclude that it was in fact not meant to be. I have even doubted it myself.
Thank God for the people He has placed in my life. Not only have these friends encouraged me, but they have also strengthened me; us. These people go out of their way to help us in so many ways. Just someone who I can be completely transparent and vulnerable with has been a source of therapy. God bless those who have poured out their time, and their love on us! I could not be more thankful, more blessed, and more aware of the need for relationships in this world.
We are not meant to walk this walk alone. Not only do we need Jesus, we need each other; our brothers and sisters in Christ. We are one body. I used to think I could make it on my own, but life proved me wrong!
I dunno why I am really writing this, but I just had to get it off my chest. :) I will never take anyone for granted in my life. I especially have to be thankful to my very bestfriend...Mr. Ferguson. Not only has he stood by me through the lowest of lows, he loves me just the way that I am. It's a comforting thing to know that you can be who you are and that is loved and adored. Why does he love me? I don't have a clue. I think I'm pretty complicated to be honest. But alas, he still calls me beautiful (even when I know I am far from it somedays).
"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they have." That's a good quote that I am learning the value of.

"A friend is someone who walks in when everyone else walks out." good one too. I would say though, "a friend is someone who stays when everyone else leaves, and holds the door open for them." haha. so true though. Don't you wish you had someone like that. Who will back you no matter what?

So to those who have shown incredible kindess to me since I have been here. Thank you. You have eternally blessed my soul.

Love you all.

sincerely,

tiiara

wal-mart+azariah dancing in a cart+flat tire=JOY???

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."-James 1:2-4

"Consider it joy" ? what? hummmmmmmm.... I don't know what kind of situations he was talking about. He definitely must not have gone through the things I have been through. How in the world can he tell us to have joy when our nature is to be upset, angry, anxious, frustrated, and even depressed? well, this guy did in fact go through probably more than I will have to. He knew a thing or to about trials and tribulations.
    Wal-Mart was great. We bought some cool stuff: a new rug for our living room, some socks, a backpack, and I got two cool new nail polishes (tahitian green-which i am applying right now, and gray!). It was a pretty good day. Date night (with Azariah) at Olive Garden and we were just hanging out. UGH. Flat tire. What??? What next ? That was my exact first thought. If anyone knows us, you know how unreliable our car has been since we have moved here to the hot state of Dallas. haha. This was just the icing on the cake of what has been a majorly rough start in a new life.
    Why? I ask myself that just about everyday. Levi, Azariah, and myself have experienced so many obstacles, so many hardships already since we have been here. Needless to say we have been discouraged during these times. I even had a severe anxiety attack just this week! For whatever reason it seems we have been attacked on every side! Are we living in sin? Did we do something wrong? Are we just cursed or unlucky? Does God not love us?NO, i don't believe any of those
    "..."For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
   It says nothing. We are caught in God's love-trap and we can't be taken out of it. How amazing is that? Paul said it best,
"...we are afflict in every way, but not crushed; perplexed but not despairing; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed..."
     Now if any 'man' knew troubles, it was Paul. How many times did he endure persecution at the hands of the people he was trying to witness to? How many times was he stoned only to get up and do it all over again? How many times was he jailed, and being in man's bondage, was able to still praise the Lord? Who was shipwrecked and THEN bitten by a poisonous snake only to show God's glory. Who was deserted by his own helper. Who was lied about slandered and everything else we can think of. But he pressed on. He kept going. The Lord gave him specific instructions of what he was to do and all the hardships he would face (ACTS 9). And he did it. He walked through the fire for the glory of God. He didn't do it to boast in himself but to boast in the saving grace of Jesus Christ!
     So, I found myself thinking about all these things on the drive back home and all I could remind myself was the word, 'rejoice.' "REJOICE Tiiara because this isn't about you or Levi or all the troubles you've had and all the frustrations you've faced. It's about bringing God glory. You are here for His service in Dallas and His delight is in your praise. SO...praise Him." So right then I just started thanking God for allowing us to go through another obstacle and for His amazing grace that saved me. My heart was full of joy.
     "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice!"
Now I know what the disciples felt as they were enduring hardships and persecutions in the book of Acts.
    It's not easy and I'm definitely not the best person to tell someone else to be 'joyful' in tough times but God is doing a work in me and it was evident tonight. Where usually I would be so upset and burdened with the situation, I actually obeyed God's word and now it's just a medal of His glory in my life. One day He will get all the glory for this testimony! And that alone is freeing! AMEN!
     "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Thank you Lord for Your Word that builds character. Make me the person you want me to be.
Goodnight all. Be encouraged.
tiiara

Grace and mercy

grace (according to Webster's)- a unmerited diving assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification; a virtue coming from God; approval, favor; MERCY/PARDON
mercy (according to Webster's)-lenient or compassionate treatment; a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion

So, both grace and mercy (in their very definition) both include the word "divine"-meaning, from God. These are two traits that for us are extremely hard to give and sometimes receive. I believe it is because we are not divine therefore we will never truly understand such an unconditional love given to us by God's grace. 
"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God." (Ephesians 2:8)
See, grace is something we don't deserve to have. We can't do anything to earn His grace, or favor. God willingly gives it to those who love Him. Those who are saved. Mercy on the other hand is not earned either. How many of us are thankful for God's mercies that are new each day. We mess up. We sin. But God is so faithful to forgive us and show us mercy and not damn us to hell. What a blessing! Wow. If we would only realize how great a gift these are we would start living a whole lot differently. I guess I should finish reading that book by Chuck Swindoll, The Grace Awakening. lol.

So why am I so serious in talking about this grace and mercy stuff? Well, I will gladly tell you. For the past week or so I have not slept more than 4 or 5 hrs. a night because my sweet and precious daughter won't let me. Now, last night was the last straw! My darling didn't fall asleep until after 2 am. all the while I am doing everything in my power to keep my sanity. I walked away, I prayed, I angrily prayed (lol), I told her she had to go to bed (guess how well that worked), we put her in the pack-n-play (which she flipped herself out of), we shut her in the room, and we tried to soothe and caress her. Nothing was working. I was at my wits end. I was so angry and weak (physically and mentally). What could I do? This is why I am so thankful for a gift only given by God because when I looked at her I saw His grace. I felt His unconditional love for her at my weakest moment. I realized something: while she doesn't 'deserve' all this love and affection because she is being rotten, I can do nothing but give it to her because God gave it to me. So, I kept rocking and rocking and feeding and finally...she was asleep. Now it took me a few hours to get to this point and before that I'm sure God would have sent me to hell just for my attitude and thoughts. haha. But He didn't. He understands I am not perfect. I am a sinner. I am angry. I am sad. I am depressed and weary.
"For He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for the power is perfected in weakness.."(2 Corinthians 12:9)

I am still exhausted and a little frusterated but I am thankful that in a very trying moment, God was still able to teach me a very important lesson. I should listen more often.
night folks. my eyes are burning and me and the bed have a date!
tii

the trouble with fairtytales

oh, if we could all have the fairytale life. the princess finds her prince and they live happily ever after with no worries, no problems, or concerns in the world! Seeing Azariah dressed up takes me back to those wishes we make as little kids. Wishing on stars, searching for frogs (to kiss, BLEH!), and so on and so on. Truth is, those aren't reality. How I wish I could give my baby that fairytale ending, but the truth is, she will face more persecution than me if she decides to follow Christ. I have been reading about the disciples and the book RADICAL by David Platt and true discipleship. It is nothing like our American-ized version of Christianity. He said we have to be willing to give up everything to follow Him. Everything. We have become too comfortable in our everyday relationship with Christ. Most of the world are fighting for their very lives just to hear these radical words. How sad is it that we can't be hungry enough for His Word to even read it every day. Our relationship isn't just something we do...it's something we have to live out. Matthew 10 outlines everything a disciple will face: do nothing to gain profit, you will be persecuted, you will be hated, you might be killed, you will have to leave family, and you will have to carry the cross....you will have to carry your possible death every single day. But do we really? I know I probably don't. But I am becoming more and more broken to want to be totally and unreservedly sold-out to Jesus. I will be going through Platt's book and just highlighting some amazing revelations.

Jesus was calling them to abandon themselves. They were leaving certainty for uncertainty, safety for danger, self-preservation for self-denunciation. In a world that prizes promoting oneself, they were following a teacher who told them to crucify themselves. And history tells us the result. Almost all of them would lose their lives because they responded to his invitation.

We are giving into the dangerous temptation to take the Jesus of the Bible and twist Him into a version of Jesus we are more comfortable with.  A nice middle-class, American Jesus. A Jesus who doesn't mind materialism and who would never call us to give away everything we have. A Jesus who would not expect us to forsake our closest relationships so that he receives all our affection. A Jesus who is fine with nominal devotion that does not infringe on our comforts, because, after all, He loves us just the way we are. A Jesus who wants us to be balanced, who wants us to avoid dangerous extremes, and who, for that matter, wants us to avoid dangerous altogether. A Jesus who brings us comfort and prosperity as we live out our Christian spin on the American dream.

...And the danger now is that when we gather in our church buildings to sing and lift up our hands in worship, we may not actually be worshiping the Jesus of the Bible. Instead we may be worshiping ourselves.

FIREFLY

OKay. Here it goes...my very first blog. I'm kinda nervous and pretty excited at the same time. I'm sure this isn't going to be a literary masterpiece like Shakespeare or anything, but I hope it's interesting. I have enjoyed writing since i was a little girl. Being thrown into different times and places has always interested me, especially if it was someone else's life. I guess I'm just nosey. haha.
So I was inspired by my good friend Sarah D. She is a wonderful person. I have hardly met someone who was so genuine and caring. I may be rushing when I say this, but I hope we are liftetime friends.

Fireflies...how many of us when we were little had to stay outside just a "little longer" to catch the fireflies? Our mom or dad is getting onto us and we are so amazed by these little creatures that are lighting up the night sky that we can't imagine leaving them. Some of my favorite memories are of me and my sister, Renee, catching these fireflies; they were 'life-moments.' And basically that is what this blog is about: life-moments. Moments that take my breath away, moments I wish I could take away, and moments I never want to go away. Life is full of "moments." It's up to you and me to make the most of them, good or bad. God has blessed me with an amazing family. An amazing husband, Levi, who loves me exactly the way I am and gives me the strength and courage to face my fears and be the woman God made me to be. My daughter Azariah is the 'life' of our lives. She is so precious and beautiful. I couldn't imagine life without her curiosity, dramatic outbursts, and contagious laughter. While there are many things I wish I could've changed in my life, one thing is for sure, I wouldn't change the moments I have now for anything in the world.