New state, new places, new church, new life...new...friends???? In GA, making friends was a difficult and painful task for me. I was severely depressed and distraught about the fact that I had no one to talk to, hang out with, or even be a 'girlfriend' with. How was I going to deal with going through that all over again?? In my darkest moments, there I stood alone. All by myself to deal with all the storms that were destined to drown me. Even after my daugher Azariah was born, I still felt the need to seek friendship elsewhere. I was so desperate and heartbroken. All the relationships I had were gone. No one talked to me anymore...they had lives; they simply moved on to bigger and better things. I was no longer worthy of their time or energy. I'm not trying to sound so depressing but this is how it was. My heart was broken...my soul was yearning, and my spirit was crushed. I didn't see any way out.
Coming to Dallas has been not only a physical but a spiritual battle. We have been faced with so many hardships and challenges since we have been here, one would come to conclude that it was in fact not meant to be. I have even doubted it myself.
Thank God for the people He has placed in my life. Not only have these friends encouraged me, but they have also strengthened me; us. These people go out of their way to help us in so many ways. Just someone who I can be completely transparent and vulnerable with has been a source of therapy. God bless those who have poured out their time, and their love on us! I could not be more thankful, more blessed, and more aware of the need for relationships in this world.
We are not meant to walk this walk alone. Not only do we need Jesus, we need each other; our brothers and sisters in Christ. We are one body. I used to think I could make it on my own, but life proved me wrong!
I dunno why I am really writing this, but I just had to get it off my chest. :) I will never take anyone for granted in my life. I especially have to be thankful to my very bestfriend...Mr. Ferguson. Not only has he stood by me through the lowest of lows, he loves me just the way that I am. It's a comforting thing to know that you can be who you are and that is loved and adored. Why does he love me? I don't have a clue. I think I'm pretty complicated to be honest. But alas, he still calls me beautiful (even when I know I am far from it somedays).
"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they have." That's a good quote that I am learning the value of.
"A friend is someone who walks in when everyone else walks out." good one too. I would say though, "a friend is someone who stays when everyone else leaves, and holds the door open for them." haha. so true though. Don't you wish you had someone like that. Who will back you no matter what?
So to those who have shown incredible kindess to me since I have been here. Thank you. You have eternally blessed my soul.
Love you all.
sincerely,
tiiara
Awww! We would have still been hanging out but we moved and messed that up! I enjoyed getting to know you and having you and Levi over for dinner:) And, I enjoyed hanging out when we were in GA visiting and when ya'll drove through LA!:) I know Jerry was happy to see ya'll when he was in TX..and if ya'll come back through LA..ya'll are more than welcomed to stay with us:)
ReplyDeleteI understand the loneliness...we are pretty much alllll alone over here..it's a pretty boring place to be:) But, we have each other and our kiddo's:)
I pray that God blesses you both with Genuine friendships that will last a lifetime! It's hard making friends when you're older!:) ehhe Life is so stinkin busy..people need to slow down and realize that relationships are important...instead we rush to and fro...I try and slow down (I don't know how people survive with kids doing different activities every day and all that..woo! hehe It's tough enough to get to church on time! hehe) Well, we love you all and we're glad we met...you know we were checking you out to make sure you were suitable for Levi...you passed the test:) hehe Me and Jerry left the mall that day saying..yep...she's a keeper:)
Misti