A Father's Letter

For my wonderful husband and father to our darling baby girl, I wrote a little letter of what it might feel like to be a dad writing to his little girl (hence Levi writing to Azariah). I know this probably doesn't touch on what men really feel, but i just took what I saw Levi do and tried to put them into words. Here's to you Levi for loving your family endlessly and tirelessly.

My little angel,
I have loved you from the moment I knew you were mine.
I was full of fear and expanded with excitement to meet you, to hold you, to talk to you, and take care of you.
You are finally here! and how small you are!
You are so perfect;
You are so beautiful.
You are....mine.
My heart weeps of  joy and sweet relief.
What a blessing God has given today.
You fit so perfectly in my arms like you were made for them.
Now this is real! It doesn't feel real yet...maybe it will soon.
Let me drink this amazing moment in.
I cannot believe you were a part of me. 
I can't believe God gave you to me.
I am not a perfect man; there are so many things I have yet to learn,
But I promise to God to try and that I will love you with all I have all my days.
I will teach you right from wrong.
I will bandage your wounds when you get hurt.
I will try to comfort you through your pain.
I will try to protect you from the danger that lurks around every corner.
I will help you along in your journey and support you in all you do.
I want to see you grow into a beautiful woman.
You are my baby girl.
My heart is so full.
I will be the father I never knew, nor was able to have.
I will shower you with a million kisses everyday even if you don't want them.
I will get frustrated when you upset me and correct you when you are wrong.
How I melt when you reach out for me.
You light up my soul when you look up to give me a kiss.
I can't believe you are a part of me. I believe we are a lot alike.
You will always be loved.
The Lord will always take good care of you, but for now He is letting me steal a little time.
You are so beautiful, like your momma.
I pray I can be the father God wants me to be...
I know I'll mess up.
But I'll still be there, giving you my all, all the days of my life.
You are the joy of my life.
Looking at you, I see a glimpse of heaven.
God shows me heaven in your heart and beauty.
You are my little angel.
You are my sweetheart.
My baby.
You will always be my girl.                                                     
Love always,
Daddy


Thank you Levi for all you do. This was just a little something for you on this special day and everyday. You are a great dad and I know Azariah is so blessed to have you as her Daddy. 
Love you.
Your other girl.
Tiiara  :)

Life Imitating Art

Can life truly imitate art?
O to be beautiful!
Like the lusciousness of a summer's breeze.
The enviable statuesque of the trees,
The gentle calm of the green blades of grass, 
Or the coolness and enticement of the glistening ripples of the water on a hot day.
Have you ever beheld such beauty?
That not even a picture could capture its breathtaking scenery.
O to drink it all in!
And let it fill every square inch of me till I am no more,
And beauty encompasses every fiber of my very being.
To dream in color,
And live it out loud every single day.
How I wish to be the beauty I see all around me!
Why is it everything is beautiful to me except me?
I want to be a woman my daughter might hope to be.
When will this war of what I see and who I am come to an end?
So I might feel alive again.
Wave of beauty overtake me now!
Till I burst in my soul as its vanity goes on the prowl.
For once in my life I wish to be the art.
A perfect picture of wonderful design,
I want to see the beauty that I always dreamed of seeing in the mirror looking back at me.
Not just looking out this window endlessly.
Why can't I be as majestic as the magnolia?
Or as chic as the daisy?
Maybe as sultry as the red rose,
Or as alluring as the tiger lily?
As soothing as the lilac,
Or as sophisticated as the tulip.
Maybe as gorgeous as the orchid,
Or even as cute as the daffodil.
For now I will stick with being plain me.
But I will never stop asking God to make me as beautiful as one of these.
Is it really so wrong to wish for this kind of superficial beauty?
Maybe it is...but it doesn't stop me from dreaming.
One day I will wake up and my life will imitate this wonderful art.
One day.....

...just some feelings I was having today. I have to admit it, I spend a lot of time reading the news, reading about celebrities...all that jazz. After a while I get so disillusioned that their life is the "real" life and that is how it should be. No one looking at this picture says, "Oh, that garden is so ugly!" So, why do we find so many ugly qualities about other people and ourselves? Aren't we worth so much more than the flowers and the trees??? Jesus said we were worth more than even the wildflowers (Luke 22-28)  It's hard not to get down on myself. Most of the time I just wish I could be someone else...someone prettier with better hair, lighter skin, BETTER skin...ah. The scars that we try to hide from each other. But isn't that what makes us unique. Like those flowers, we all possess some quality no one else does that is completely our own. When you look at children, you always see the beauty in them. Where does that fade to as we grow older? Through bullying, emotional or verbal abuse, trying to live up to unrealistic expectations, and for me, having an insane need to be perfect. This will be a battle I will have to face daily. But at least I can admit I have one to fight. Let's help each other. Find all the beautiful qualities in people and celebrate them. Maybe this world wouldn't be so bad after all. And maybe more little girls and little boys can grow up with a confidence and self-esteem that will help them not to compromise who they are to fit in or be a model of what the world considers "beautiful."