Beauty Has a Name

Beauty has a name
She has a face
No one can hide her
From taking her place
In this world she'll grow
Up to be mighty and strong
She'll learn how to fly
And soar in the unknown
She holds a quiet peace
A joy from deep within
She is a crowned jewel
A delight to her King
He knows and loves her
He delights in this creature He sees
She doesnt have it all
And doesnt ask for much
She gives what she can and knows 
That what she has is enough
She is sweet and strong
Oh how she inspires me
This beauty walks with grace
And her name is Didi

This is for Diana. A precious young lady I am able to know. It is so inspiring to see how a girl at her age is so strong and has such integrity to face life's challenges and keep going. Her faith is amazing and she is my friend. To all those who find it hard to fit in...you always fit perfectly in the palm of His hands!

Bless the Lord

~a song I made up after a great study time with God. Hopefully, I can use parts of it one day and actually put it to music. Enjoy!


From the rising of the sun
To the going down of the same
Your mercy is new each morning
Every single day
So I will lift my hands up
And I will sing praise to You
Until I see You face to face
I will bless Your name

I will bless the Lord
Bless the Lord
Bless the Lord
O, my sould
My sould will bless You Lord

From the rising of the sun
To the going down of the same
I am weak today
But I know Your grace will save
Me from myself
I cling to you and nothing else
Thank You for Your love
And I pray it will be enough

Why do You love me
The way that You do
Who am I that I should have
As good of a friend as You

You are greater
You are stronger
You are mightier than a million others
You are holy
You are worthy
You are the Great I am
You are the El Shadai
The Sacrificial Lamb


You died for me
You set me free
To took hell and the grave
Now You live
Victoriously
And I will bless Your name

some of our family portrait!

The New Look: Righteousness

While everyone is out searching for this season's latest trend or hottest item, I am on a different shopping mission: I'm searching for a different and new type of wardrobe. That of faithfulness, holiness, righteousness, purity, truth, love, joy, peace, patience, self-control, loving-kindness, gentleness, and long-suffering. When I step out, I want everyone to notice what and who I am wearing: Jesus. Is it hard? Yeah. Just think whenever you are trying to find that pair of jeans, or those pair of shoes you saw in that one magazine (well, maybe a similar pair because you can't afford designer shoes), or that coat that would match perfectly with those winter boots. It can take a long time to find just the right pair or exactly what you are looking for. You have to try things on...maybe even take some items back. Well, the same goes for transformation. It is a process. You won't get it right away, and you won't have it when you leave this world. Living here in Dallas, I've seen so many sides of the American dream. Those who desperately want to get out of the ghetto but can't, those who don't even have a ghetto to call home but a bench or a bridge, those who work hard to acheive that corporate status, and those who have money to burn and the need to be seen. People are appearance-obssessed it seems. And I almost fell into that trap myself. To have the coolest car, the prettiest house, the vacation spot, name-brand designer clothes, and making all the fashionable appearances seem to shape and mold the world we live in, even in the Christian community. It's sad no one can tell us apart from the world anymore. We are takers instead of givers. We want what we can't have and refuse to be satisfied with what we do. We can buy all the fancy clothes, pile on all the ridiculous makeup, make ourselves look like something we aren't, color our hair, get tattoos and piercings, mold and sculpt our bodies all to be noticed by others. Man, I thought we were to live in the world, not act like it. We are 'new creations' so why do we still act like Jesus died for nothing? I wish I would want to be noticed for an entirely different reason: to glorify God. Not just with my body, but with my time, my money, my life, my family;everything.  Let's not try to pretend anymore. We (I) need to stop being fake and become real and transparent because that is the only way I will be able to be transformed. I need to stop lying to myself and realize I have a long way to go but if I simply go to God humbly and with all sincerity, I KNOW He will change me and work in me to become all those things I desire to be. Not for my own benefit but to be obedient to my Heavenly Father. I don't want to judge others. I don't want to waste my time with their actions against me or what they do in spite of claiming to be a Christian. I want to focus on those who want and need a Savior. Those who are struggling, hurting, and lost. Lord help me be pure in heart, sober in mind to refuse all these worldly lusts and temptations in order to become a light in the midst of a dark and scary world. Let me be raw and genuine before You, carrying no deceit or shame. No, I won't be rockin' the Dior or the Dolce & Gabbana's but I will be rockin' something so much better: I'll be rockin' JC. Then I don't think I'll be able to look any better!


Read: Ephesians 4:17-24; Zecheriah 8;!6,17; Philippians 4:8; 2 Corinthians 5:17-19

A Little Devotional

THE GOSPEL OF Mark (4)

    So, here I am, chamomile tea in hand (well, sitting on the table because I OBVIOUSLY can't be holding a coffee mug and typing at the same time unless I had a third arm or something...or unless it was in LEVI'S hand while he was letting me sip its hot goodness. lol) Anyways, do you know how you can read something hundreds of times and still get something different each time? Well, that's how the Word of God is. It is the same, but our revelations are continually waiting for us to see! Here are just some observations I made while reading this chapter. I was just too excited to keep these treasured nuggets to myself, so ENJOY if you can! (Hey, it's the Word...I hope you can. lol)

Vs. 1-20
Overview:
Jesus and His disciples just encountered a terrible storm at sea that almost sent them into the depths of the ocean had it not been for the remarkable power of Jesus to stop the wind and waves, "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey Him?" They went to the other side of the sea to Geransenes where a demoniac lived and roamed among the tombs. This man was pure crazy. I can't misuse that word again. Anyone who LIVES in TOMBS, can break free from CHAINS and SHACKLES, screamed all the time, and cut himself....boy, that is insane! Please, I'll bury my deceased loved ones somewhere else ... we will creamate! anyways He encounters JESUS which will change His entire life and I'm pretty sure lives of many other people. Let's take a closer look:
(vs. 7-9) "...and shouting with a loud vice, he said 'What business do we have with each other Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore You by God, [do not torment me!]'"
Okay, wow. There is a lot in just this verse. First, a demon KNOWS who Jesus is (the Son of the Most High God). How come we still don't know who He is? Secondly, He was afraid. Even the demons tremble at the name of Jesus. Why? HE is HOLY! He is God. Third, He implored Him by God not to torment Him. I wonder what His idea of torment would have been? Jesus revealing truth to Him...being made to serve Jesus...I dunno but his fear is something to be grasped. I wonder how it will be for those who die and are not saved or those who vehemently denied Jesus as their Lord and Savior. How scared will they be on that day when Jesus asks them if He ever knew them? WOW. How heart-wrenching and heartbreaking is this revelation. All the more reason to share the Gospel.
     So, He cast out the "legion" of demons inside this man and they were sent into a herd of swine who rushed into the sea. The people, not interested in this man who was delivered inasmuch as their swine that just ran of the cliff. Wow. I know we worry about our lives but Jesus said we had to "lose our lives" if we want to save it...Profit over People. How interesting...still runs true today. WE aren't worried about them. We are worried about ourselves. Selfish fools we are!
     Then, this man wants to travel with Jesus and His disciples. I would too. THey are pretty cool and oh, the miracles they will get to see! But Jesus says instead,
"Go home to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you and HOW He had MERCY on you." (19) And the man went away and told everyone what the Lord did for Him. I'm pretty sure many were saved! Hallelujah. Notice, we all have different functions, different roles...we all can't be in the front. We all can't try to do the same thing...nothing will get accomplished. GO! Just go. That's all we have to do. I personally have a lot to do in that area.
     Moving on to later in the chapter, it is the story of the woman with the issue of blood. This woman had been stricken with this disease for 12 long years. What a nightmare. Nothing worked. Noone could help her. None but Jesus. She knew that if ONLY she touched His garment, she would be healed. Now try to picture this, Jesus is rushing through a crowded street trying to save a young girl's life and He is sandwiched from people on every side and His disciples trying to get Him through the crowd. Fists, bows, and every body part is probably touching Him...but what did He say, "Who touched ME?" It's no wonder the disciples were a little confused. This woman hadn't even touched His body, just His robe! She didn't just touch that robe...she touched His soul. Not only did He feel that tug, He felt her- He was moved by the power of her faith. WOW! Only He truly knows the innermost parts of our being. She was healed. What hope we have in Jesus! Not that He will grant us healing from sickness or bless us with material possessions, or make life easy...He knows us. Kinda scary though, right? Wrong. If He knows us this well, it should be so easy for us to be transparent before Him. He can do anything and even if He doesn't, isn't the love enough for us to be propelled into love for Him and others? revelation. Truth is convicting. It breaks me. I'm thankful for this. Now I have some work to attend to. I hope you do too.

Tiiara

Dallas Love

Moving to Dallas more or less scared the heck out of me. Period.
 New state, new places, new church, new life...new...friends???? In GA, making friends was a difficult and painful task for me. I was severely depressed and distraught about the fact that I had no one to talk to, hang out with, or even be a 'girlfriend' with. How was I going to deal with going through that all over again?? In my darkest moments, there I stood alone. All by myself to deal with all the storms that were destined to drown me. Even after my daugher Azariah was born, I still felt the need to seek friendship elsewhere. I was so desperate and heartbroken. All the relationships I had were gone. No one talked to me anymore...they had lives; they simply moved on to bigger and better things. I was no longer worthy of their time or energy. I'm not trying to sound so depressing but this is how it was. My heart was broken...my soul was yearning, and my spirit was crushed. I didn't see any way out.
Coming to Dallas has been not only a physical but a spiritual battle. We have been faced with so many hardships and challenges since we have been here, one would come to conclude that it was in fact not meant to be. I have even doubted it myself.
Thank God for the people He has placed in my life. Not only have these friends encouraged me, but they have also strengthened me; us. These people go out of their way to help us in so many ways. Just someone who I can be completely transparent and vulnerable with has been a source of therapy. God bless those who have poured out their time, and their love on us! I could not be more thankful, more blessed, and more aware of the need for relationships in this world.
We are not meant to walk this walk alone. Not only do we need Jesus, we need each other; our brothers and sisters in Christ. We are one body. I used to think I could make it on my own, but life proved me wrong!
I dunno why I am really writing this, but I just had to get it off my chest. :) I will never take anyone for granted in my life. I especially have to be thankful to my very bestfriend...Mr. Ferguson. Not only has he stood by me through the lowest of lows, he loves me just the way that I am. It's a comforting thing to know that you can be who you are and that is loved and adored. Why does he love me? I don't have a clue. I think I'm pretty complicated to be honest. But alas, he still calls me beautiful (even when I know I am far from it somedays).
"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they have." That's a good quote that I am learning the value of.

"A friend is someone who walks in when everyone else walks out." good one too. I would say though, "a friend is someone who stays when everyone else leaves, and holds the door open for them." haha. so true though. Don't you wish you had someone like that. Who will back you no matter what?

So to those who have shown incredible kindess to me since I have been here. Thank you. You have eternally blessed my soul.

Love you all.

sincerely,

tiiara

wal-mart+azariah dancing in a cart+flat tire=JOY???

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."-James 1:2-4

"Consider it joy" ? what? hummmmmmmm.... I don't know what kind of situations he was talking about. He definitely must not have gone through the things I have been through. How in the world can he tell us to have joy when our nature is to be upset, angry, anxious, frustrated, and even depressed? well, this guy did in fact go through probably more than I will have to. He knew a thing or to about trials and tribulations.
    Wal-Mart was great. We bought some cool stuff: a new rug for our living room, some socks, a backpack, and I got two cool new nail polishes (tahitian green-which i am applying right now, and gray!). It was a pretty good day. Date night (with Azariah) at Olive Garden and we were just hanging out. UGH. Flat tire. What??? What next ? That was my exact first thought. If anyone knows us, you know how unreliable our car has been since we have moved here to the hot state of Dallas. haha. This was just the icing on the cake of what has been a majorly rough start in a new life.
    Why? I ask myself that just about everyday. Levi, Azariah, and myself have experienced so many obstacles, so many hardships already since we have been here. Needless to say we have been discouraged during these times. I even had a severe anxiety attack just this week! For whatever reason it seems we have been attacked on every side! Are we living in sin? Did we do something wrong? Are we just cursed or unlucky? Does God not love us?NO, i don't believe any of those
    "..."For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
   It says nothing. We are caught in God's love-trap and we can't be taken out of it. How amazing is that? Paul said it best,
"...we are afflict in every way, but not crushed; perplexed but not despairing; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed..."
     Now if any 'man' knew troubles, it was Paul. How many times did he endure persecution at the hands of the people he was trying to witness to? How many times was he stoned only to get up and do it all over again? How many times was he jailed, and being in man's bondage, was able to still praise the Lord? Who was shipwrecked and THEN bitten by a poisonous snake only to show God's glory. Who was deserted by his own helper. Who was lied about slandered and everything else we can think of. But he pressed on. He kept going. The Lord gave him specific instructions of what he was to do and all the hardships he would face (ACTS 9). And he did it. He walked through the fire for the glory of God. He didn't do it to boast in himself but to boast in the saving grace of Jesus Christ!
     So, I found myself thinking about all these things on the drive back home and all I could remind myself was the word, 'rejoice.' "REJOICE Tiiara because this isn't about you or Levi or all the troubles you've had and all the frustrations you've faced. It's about bringing God glory. You are here for His service in Dallas and His delight is in your praise. SO...praise Him." So right then I just started thanking God for allowing us to go through another obstacle and for His amazing grace that saved me. My heart was full of joy.
     "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice!"
Now I know what the disciples felt as they were enduring hardships and persecutions in the book of Acts.
    It's not easy and I'm definitely not the best person to tell someone else to be 'joyful' in tough times but God is doing a work in me and it was evident tonight. Where usually I would be so upset and burdened with the situation, I actually obeyed God's word and now it's just a medal of His glory in my life. One day He will get all the glory for this testimony! And that alone is freeing! AMEN!
     "And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Thank you Lord for Your Word that builds character. Make me the person you want me to be.
Goodnight all. Be encouraged.
tiiara