Grace and mercy

grace (according to Webster's)- a unmerited diving assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification; a virtue coming from God; approval, favor; MERCY/PARDON
mercy (according to Webster's)-lenient or compassionate treatment; a blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion

So, both grace and mercy (in their very definition) both include the word "divine"-meaning, from God. These are two traits that for us are extremely hard to give and sometimes receive. I believe it is because we are not divine therefore we will never truly understand such an unconditional love given to us by God's grace. 
"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God." (Ephesians 2:8)
See, grace is something we don't deserve to have. We can't do anything to earn His grace, or favor. God willingly gives it to those who love Him. Those who are saved. Mercy on the other hand is not earned either. How many of us are thankful for God's mercies that are new each day. We mess up. We sin. But God is so faithful to forgive us and show us mercy and not damn us to hell. What a blessing! Wow. If we would only realize how great a gift these are we would start living a whole lot differently. I guess I should finish reading that book by Chuck Swindoll, The Grace Awakening. lol.

So why am I so serious in talking about this grace and mercy stuff? Well, I will gladly tell you. For the past week or so I have not slept more than 4 or 5 hrs. a night because my sweet and precious daughter won't let me. Now, last night was the last straw! My darling didn't fall asleep until after 2 am. all the while I am doing everything in my power to keep my sanity. I walked away, I prayed, I angrily prayed (lol), I told her she had to go to bed (guess how well that worked), we put her in the pack-n-play (which she flipped herself out of), we shut her in the room, and we tried to soothe and caress her. Nothing was working. I was at my wits end. I was so angry and weak (physically and mentally). What could I do? This is why I am so thankful for a gift only given by God because when I looked at her I saw His grace. I felt His unconditional love for her at my weakest moment. I realized something: while she doesn't 'deserve' all this love and affection because she is being rotten, I can do nothing but give it to her because God gave it to me. So, I kept rocking and rocking and feeding and finally...she was asleep. Now it took me a few hours to get to this point and before that I'm sure God would have sent me to hell just for my attitude and thoughts. haha. But He didn't. He understands I am not perfect. I am a sinner. I am angry. I am sad. I am depressed and weary.
"For He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for the power is perfected in weakness.."(2 Corinthians 12:9)

I am still exhausted and a little frusterated but I am thankful that in a very trying moment, God was still able to teach me a very important lesson. I should listen more often.
night folks. my eyes are burning and me and the bed have a date!
tii

the trouble with fairtytales

oh, if we could all have the fairytale life. the princess finds her prince and they live happily ever after with no worries, no problems, or concerns in the world! Seeing Azariah dressed up takes me back to those wishes we make as little kids. Wishing on stars, searching for frogs (to kiss, BLEH!), and so on and so on. Truth is, those aren't reality. How I wish I could give my baby that fairytale ending, but the truth is, she will face more persecution than me if she decides to follow Christ. I have been reading about the disciples and the book RADICAL by David Platt and true discipleship. It is nothing like our American-ized version of Christianity. He said we have to be willing to give up everything to follow Him. Everything. We have become too comfortable in our everyday relationship with Christ. Most of the world are fighting for their very lives just to hear these radical words. How sad is it that we can't be hungry enough for His Word to even read it every day. Our relationship isn't just something we do...it's something we have to live out. Matthew 10 outlines everything a disciple will face: do nothing to gain profit, you will be persecuted, you will be hated, you might be killed, you will have to leave family, and you will have to carry the cross....you will have to carry your possible death every single day. But do we really? I know I probably don't. But I am becoming more and more broken to want to be totally and unreservedly sold-out to Jesus. I will be going through Platt's book and just highlighting some amazing revelations.

Jesus was calling them to abandon themselves. They were leaving certainty for uncertainty, safety for danger, self-preservation for self-denunciation. In a world that prizes promoting oneself, they were following a teacher who told them to crucify themselves. And history tells us the result. Almost all of them would lose their lives because they responded to his invitation.

We are giving into the dangerous temptation to take the Jesus of the Bible and twist Him into a version of Jesus we are more comfortable with.  A nice middle-class, American Jesus. A Jesus who doesn't mind materialism and who would never call us to give away everything we have. A Jesus who would not expect us to forsake our closest relationships so that he receives all our affection. A Jesus who is fine with nominal devotion that does not infringe on our comforts, because, after all, He loves us just the way we are. A Jesus who wants us to be balanced, who wants us to avoid dangerous extremes, and who, for that matter, wants us to avoid dangerous altogether. A Jesus who brings us comfort and prosperity as we live out our Christian spin on the American dream.

...And the danger now is that when we gather in our church buildings to sing and lift up our hands in worship, we may not actually be worshiping the Jesus of the Bible. Instead we may be worshiping ourselves.

FIREFLY

OKay. Here it goes...my very first blog. I'm kinda nervous and pretty excited at the same time. I'm sure this isn't going to be a literary masterpiece like Shakespeare or anything, but I hope it's interesting. I have enjoyed writing since i was a little girl. Being thrown into different times and places has always interested me, especially if it was someone else's life. I guess I'm just nosey. haha.
So I was inspired by my good friend Sarah D. She is a wonderful person. I have hardly met someone who was so genuine and caring. I may be rushing when I say this, but I hope we are liftetime friends.

Fireflies...how many of us when we were little had to stay outside just a "little longer" to catch the fireflies? Our mom or dad is getting onto us and we are so amazed by these little creatures that are lighting up the night sky that we can't imagine leaving them. Some of my favorite memories are of me and my sister, Renee, catching these fireflies; they were 'life-moments.' And basically that is what this blog is about: life-moments. Moments that take my breath away, moments I wish I could take away, and moments I never want to go away. Life is full of "moments." It's up to you and me to make the most of them, good or bad. God has blessed me with an amazing family. An amazing husband, Levi, who loves me exactly the way I am and gives me the strength and courage to face my fears and be the woman God made me to be. My daughter Azariah is the 'life' of our lives. She is so precious and beautiful. I couldn't imagine life without her curiosity, dramatic outbursts, and contagious laughter. While there are many things I wish I could've changed in my life, one thing is for sure, I wouldn't change the moments I have now for anything in the world.